Chuck versus the Dreaded Conversation
by Nick CHARAH
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Sarah realises that she and Chuck need to talk about their progressing relationship before it gets one of them hurt or worse. However Chuck is not looking forward to this conversation. Based in same AU as versus the Nostalgia.
1. Chapter 1  The Mission

**Chuck versus the Dreaded Conversation**

A/N: Okay people, here's my second story. Its going to be four chapters long with the second and third chapters not being as long as the others. This is my first attempt at really using speech in the story so I'd appreciate some feedback with how it worked out. I'd also like whether you guys thought I dragged this chapter out a bit too long and it got a bit boring.

Thanks, Nick

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, although it'd be awesome if I did.

* * *

Chapter 1 - The Mission

Chuck's lunch break had just begun and he was was walking through the car park on his way to the Weinerlicious. It had been a long morning, filled with complaining customers and the always troublesome combination of Jeff and Lester. So today, it felt particularly good knowing he would soon be seeing his Super Secret Agent fake girlfriend whom he had not so secret feelings for. As Chuck walked through the familiar door, the smell of hotdogs and nacho cheese immediately overwhelmed him. However he was brought back to reality by one of the most breaktaking sights on Earth. Great Wall of China, Great Barrier Reef, Egyptian Pyramids, none compared to the beauty of Sarah Walker. He was brought out of his momentary out of body experience when he realised she had noticed his standing there and flashed him her amazing smile. Chuck felt an ear to ear grin come upon his own face in response.

"Hey Chuck"

"Hey Sarah, you ready for lunch?"

"Absolutely, lets eat outside" Sarah replied.

Sarah called out to her uptight, ass of a boss Scooter, informing him she was taking hert lunch break. They both then proceeded to exit the shop and found a nice table outside to sit down at.

"So how has your day been?" Chuck sincerly questioned.

"Boring" was all Sarah managed in reply.

"It might not exactly be the excitement you're looking for, but how about a cover date tonight, dinner with Awesome, Ellie and I?" asked chuck.

"That's sounds amazing, but unfortunately I just got a call from Director Graham, we now have a mission tonight, sorry" said Sarah, with a genuine tone of disappointment in her voice.

"No that's okay, at least we'll get to spend the evening together" offered Chuck with a hint of a smile.

Sarah felt a hint of a blush creeping up her neck and she found herself with a mischevious grin on her face, "Well we had better get back to work, as demeaning and incredibly boring as it is"

"Ah yes, work, my pride and joy" Chuck sarcastically stated.

Sarah let out a small chuckle before replying, "Alright Chuck, I'll see you tonight, be ready at 7 sharp, enjoy the rest of the day"

"Bye Sarah" Said Chuck accompanied by his typical smile which had the ability to make Sarah's heart flutter just a little.

As Chuck walked away, Sarah slumped against the front window of the Weinerlicious, desperately hoping that things could be different with her and Chuck, that they could openly share their feelings with each other without fear of reprimand or reasssignment. Little did Sarah know that at that very moment the same feelings were going through Chuck's head...

* * *

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully by the buymore standard, that is if you don't consider Lester and Morgan offering Jeff a six pack of beer if he shoved a screw driver in a powerpoint, only to be stopped in the knick of time by an outraged Big Mike.

As Chuck drove home, he experienced mixed feelings; sadness, in that he and Sarah had missed an opportunity to be themselves and for Sarah to let her emotional walls down in a comfortable environment, but at the same time a bit of happiness at the consolation that he and Sarah would at least be spending the majority of the night together.

Chuck arrived home, quickly realising that only Ellie was home as Devon was on shift at the hospital till midnight.

His sister warmly greeted him before asking him whether he and Sarah wanted to join her for dinner considering she was home by herself.

In respons, Chuck said, "Sorry sis, would love to join ya, but Sarah and I have already got plans tonight. As a comprimise, how about Sarah and I take you and Devon out for a movie and dinner on Saturday?"

"Sounds great" Ellie sincerly replied, before continuing "So, things seem to be going really good between you and Sarah ay?"

Ellie's comment halted Chuck's progress towards his room and led him to turn around and face his sister, "I don't know sis, I'm not sure it's going anywhere"

Ellie immediately replied, "Are you kidding? You two are about as in love as any two people I know, the way you look at each other, how right it feels when you're together, we all just know it in hearts, you guys are meant to be together"

Chuck's eyes suddenly stung a bit as he held back the sudden urge to break down and admit to his sister that he loved Sarah more than he ever thought he could love a person, and that if it wasn't for the job, they might stand a chance at being a couple, and truly being happy. Instead, all Chuck could manage was, "Thanks sis, love ya" and a typical Chuck smile.

Chuck was sitting at his desk looking at pictures on his phone of photos other people had taken of Chuck and Sarah on their cover dates. Even though Chuck knew it was fake, the pictures just seemed right, Chuck and Sarah looked like a real couple, meant to be together. His train of thought was disrupted by a knock at the front door.

Chuck quickly exited his room, said goodbye to Ellie, before meeting up with Casey and Sarah who were geared up and ready for the mission.

* * *

The car ride was fairly relaxed. Casey had explained that tonights mission involved running some surveillance on a suspected arms smuggler who was meant to be meeting with a potential client. There orders were to first confirm both parties involvement in the illicit activity and if need be arrest them and bring 'em in. After Casey explained the contingency plan in the case that shit hit the fan and informed Chuck that under no cirumstances should he leave the car (as always!) their surveillance operation began once they had reached the destination.

Chuck was quickly aware that the van was quite small and the three of them were sitting in extremely close quarters, which meant he and Sarah were close to the point of nearly rubbing shoulders. Even though Chuck had been required to make physical contact with Sarah many times for the cover over the past year, he still felt an electricity flow through his body whenever he and Sarah brushed up against each other.

Sarah was also aware of her close proximity to Chuck and felt her heart flutter whenever her and Chuck's eyes would meet, even for just a moment.

After half an hour or so of listening to the smuggler and his potential client, the team had heard enough to close in on the targets and arrest them.

Casey and Sarah got their gear together and exited the car (not before firmly reminding Chuck that he was not to leave the car).

Chuck watched on on the monitors as Casey and Sarah surprised the perps holding them at gun point and enforcing the fact that if either of them cared to carry on living they should not move one bit.

Casey had arrested the first man and it seemed as though the situation was well under control, the second man, seeing that the agents attention was on arresting the first man, sensed his opportunity and knocked the gun out of Sarah's hand and ran away as quickly as his legs would allow him.

Sarah, quickly recovered her gun, told Casey to handle the criminal still standing there, shocked at what had taken place, and ran after the man.

Chuck, seeing what had taken place, was overcome with worry for Sarah and made the snap (yet stupid) decision to leave the van and run after Sarah.

After searching for the escaped smuggler for a few minutes decided to stop, assess her options and decide on the best course of action. Her gun momentarily relaxed by her side as she assessed that there was no immediate danger to her, however this was all the invitation the assailant, who was hiding in the shadows needed. He quickly emerged from his place of hiding, surpising the CIA agent and quickly knocking the gun out of her hand and knocking her to the ground with a swift blow to the back of her head. The man quickly gathered up the agents gun and pointed it at Sarah.

"Get up! Now!"

Sarah slowly lifted herself off the ground, still a bit dazed by the blow to her head.

"What do you want?" asked Sarah cautiously

"Freedom" the criminal responded

He kept the gun aimed Sarah straight at Sarah's head, making sure he gave her no opportunity to gain the upper hand.

At that moment, Chuck had finally found Sarah after minutes of searching. Seeing the situation, before he could stop himself he heard himself shout at the top of his lungs,

"SARAH!"

Realising Chuck's presence the assailant quickly altered his aim to Chuck, trying to assess whether or not he was a risk.

Seeing that he was unarmed and at his mercy, the assailant made a snark remark in Chuck's direction,

"Coming unarmed into a gun fight, tsk tsk, not a smart decision you foolish man"

The assailant cocked the gun and prepared to shoot the man when we heard a scream come from the blond agent.

"NO PLEASE, NOT HIM! KILL ME INSTEAD"

Sensing a connection between the man and the blond agent, he decided it prudent to taunt them a little more,

"Oh no, agent, don't tell me you have real feelings for this man. Quite unprofessional, that is, tsk tsk" the man tauntingly remarked.

Feeling completely helpless, Sarah felt tears coming to her eyes. She looked into Chuck's eyes, furious that he had disobeyed orders, but at the same time devestated that she might never get to tell him how she felt about him. She tried to portray to him the extent of her feelings for him through a deep stare into his eyes.

The assailant, keen to get this over and done with aimed the gun at the man, ready to fire,

"Your boyfriend's dead baby, and there's nothing you can do to save him"

Sensing, it was over, Sarah allowed her tears and emotions to overcome her.

A deafening gunshot sounded.

Sarah slumped, to the ground, not caring that she was about to die. The love of her life had just been killed before her eyes.

She was now crying violently, hating herself for never telling Chuck how she felt about him.

"I love you Chuck" she repeated inaudibly

Then she heard an all too familiar voice from afar.

"Gosh Walker, you're a mess"

Looking up at her partner, the realisation of what had actually taken place hit her.

The assailant who had threatened her with a gun just a minute ago was on the floor dead, and Chuck stood there, still shocked at what had taken place. The relief of Chuck being alive momentarily overwhelmed Sarah, but was quickly replaced by the need to maintain professionalism in front of her partner. She found her hard, agent exterior returning and turned to face Chuck.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY IN THE CAR CHUCK? You could've been killed!" Sarah yelled at him.

"Sar-" Was all Chuck could manage in response

"When you're given an order Chuck, you listen, no matter what. The intersect's life is much more important than mine.

Sensing that her verbal barrage had had its desired effect, Sarah turned back to Casey,

"Let's go," She said impatiently

Not wanting to further piss Sarah off, Casey followed Sarah's lead, noticing that the NSA cleaners had already arrived.

The car ride home was tense to say the least. The tension in the air couldn't be cut with a knife.

Mixed emotions flowed through Sarah's mind. In one sense she was extremely relieved that Chuck was still alive, yet in another, she was frustrated at herself for letting her emotions take over. She was determined to keep Chuck at a distance and maintain her composure.

As the van pulled up in front of Sarah's hotel, she got out of the car. But before closing the door, she turned to face Chuck,

"Bye Chuck" she said, sounding composed and professional.

"My house tomorrow night at 7. We need to talk about what happened tonight, because it sure as hell can't happen again."

Chuck simply nodded in response as Sarah walked away from the van towards the hotel.

As the van pulled away from the side of the road, a taunting chuckle came from Casey.

"Oh you're in shit now Bartowski"

Chuck audibly sighed and put his head in his hands. Tomorrow night would be a conversation he was NOT looking forward.

* * *

Thanks for reading, hope to have the next chapter out within a few days. I'd really appreciate if people took the time to read and review.


	2. Chapter 2  Chuck's Day

**Chuck versus the Dreaded Conversation**

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far, and if you guys keep the reviews coming that'd be awesome.

Thanks, Nick

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, although it'd be awesome if I did.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to CutThroatUK for his continuing help with the story. He's done a great job giving me feedback and suggestions. Also a big thanks to the posters on the Chuck boards at because they're awesome and make the wait between seasons bearable.

* * *

Chapter 2 - Chuck's Day

Chuck woke up to the torturous sound of his alarm, still feeling upset over the events of the previous night. How had it all gone wrong so quickly?

One minute, they were in the van, an electricity in the air between him and Sarah. Everytime their eyes would meet, it was no longer awkward like before, now it just felt right. In fact if it wasn't for Casey being there, watching every interaction between them like a hawk, maybe a bit more than surveillance would've gone on in the van.

Then it all downhill when it came time for Casey and Sarah to arrest our two suspects. As soon as Chuck saw Sarah chase after the suspect who had gotten away, he felt as though he had no choice but to chase after Sarah and offer help in any way possible (which to be honest didn't really seem like a lot).

When he found her being held a gun point by the man, who was seemingly about to shoot her, before he could stop himself he shouted out in horror, which only suceeded in making the man shift his aim to Chuck.

"Oh well, better me than her" He thought to himself.

"I mean how can I just stand by while this maniac kills the love of my life, how could I live myself knowing I hadn't even tried to help her"

Chuck had closed his eyes, not able to look his murderer-to-be in the eyes as he ended his all too short life. Then, in true Team Bartowski fashion, Casey came and saved the day in the knick of time.

Chuck remembers immediately opening his eyes after hearing an ear-piercing scream yelling his name. He had totally forgot Sarah was there before that point.

Chuck, suddenly felt the urge to go and embrace and console Sarah, who clearly thought it was Chuck who had been shot and killed, rather than the assailant.

But as he moved towards her, she looked up realising what had happened. For a moment, their eyes met as relief flooded through her, that Chuck was still alive.

"Maybe she does have feelings for me" Chuck remembers thinking.

But his movement towards was suddenly haulted when the look of love and affection evaporated from her eyes, replaced yet again by the emotionless Agent Walker.

Just as quickly as the affection had gone from her eyes, the anger had replaced it. It took Chuck a couple seconds to readjust to reality and concentrate on what she was saying.

"Why didn't you stay in the car Chuck? You could've been killed"

Yeah, yeah, he'd heard it all before.

"When is she going to realise, that when it comes to her safety, no matter how physically incompetent he may be, he will always do anything he possibly can to help her, to save her"

Chuck had originally hoped that her anger would die down in the car trip, but she remained in agent mode, unwilling to show any sort of emotions. When they had gotten back to her place, Chuck had desperately hoped that she wouldn't say anything to him, that she'd go inside, and forget it all happened by tomorrow. That hope was quickly annihilated when she angrily told him that they needed to talk about what had happened earlier, because it definitely couldn't happen again.

Casey's smart-arse comments on the way home only worsened his mood and made him worry even more about what Sarah was going to say tonight.

"What if she decides that my feelings for her are getting in the way of the job and she asks for reassignment" He thinks to himself.

Chuck knows, that without Sarah as his handler, he won't be emotionally equipped to face the constant dangers and anxiety of this job. He knows that no other agent will ever be able replace Sarah, and do the same job that she does in calming his fears and anxieties and keeping him focused at the most critical times. He can't do this without Sarah, his Sarah.

And on thought Chuck finally decides to stop the God damned alarm and get out of bed.

He's glad that Ellie and Awesome have already left for work, allowing him to eat his breakfast and get ready for work in peace.

* * *

The morning at the BuyMore passes by uneventfully, not counting Chuck having to foil Jeff and Lester's plans to wreck havoc on the store and its customers on several occassions.

Chuck is quite glad when Big Mike tells him a call for an off site repair comes in around about lunch time. This allows Chuck to avoid a rather uncomfortable lunch with Sarah, and gives him a few more hours to come up with a game plan for tonight's mission - a dreaded conversation with one pissed off secret agent.

* * *

When Chuck got back from the repair job, he headed straight to the cage to catch up on the repair jobs that had been piling up for weeks.

Chuck allowed his mind to wander as he got to work on the dysfunctional technology. He looked back at his experiences over the past year, how he had constantly been living in fear for his own life ever since Bryce sent him that damn email. He wondered what his life would be like if had never gotten the intersect, if he'd been allowed to continue living, his quiet, peacful, safe albeit degrading life that he had pre-intersect days. He thought that maybe he would've been better off if he'd never gotten the intersect, but that thought left his head just as quickly as it had come.

"If I'd never gotten the intersect, I might never had met Sarah" he thought to himself.

Sure, he and Sarah weren't a real couple, and under the spell of truth serum she'd told him they had no future, but Chuck saw past that, he saw past the agent exterior, and saw a girl like any other, capable of love and real emotion. Chuck loved THAT girl, and he realised that he'd wait for as long as it took, risk his life for the greater good for as long as it took, till the day came that he and Sarah could be together. Chuck's train on thought was broken by a familiar grunt.

"What are you doing Bartowski? Worrying about your talk tonight with the old ball and chain? Afraid she's gonna bite your little head off?" Casey questioned sarcastically.

With an absolute poker face, Chuck quickly replied, "Casey, I hate to play bad cop here, but if you don't shut up and get back to work, I will tell Big Mike you're harrassing other employees rather than doing your job"

A fierce grunt escaped Casey's mouth and he turned around and walked back out into the store.

"That kids starting to grow a pair, god help us all" Casey thought to himself.

Chuck heard Casey muttering swear words under his breath as he walked out of the cage. Satisfied that he'd had an impact on Casey, for the first time that day, a sly smile lit up Chuck's face.

* * *

Chuck was able to avoid contact with anyone else for the rest of his shift, instead he stayed in the cage, practically catching up on all the repair jobs, it felt good to be doing something he was actually good at for once. At five o'clock Chuck clocked out of the BuyMore to head home to get ready for dinner with Sarah.

"Oh God, here we go, God help me" Chuck sighed as he drove home.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Again, sorry it took so long to get out, I had a debating tournament on Thursday so it was full on preparation the days leading up to it. My major worry with this chapter is that it is too boring and dragged on for way too long. Please tell me if this is how you felt when reading the chapter or if you thought it worked well and you enjoyed exploring Chuck's feelings. 2 more chapters to go. I hope to have the next chapter out before Monday, but no promises.


	3. Chapter 3  Sarah's Day

**Chuck versus the Dreaded Conversation**

A/N: Thanks for the postive reviews for the previous chapter, I was really worried about how that one had turned out. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out within a few days. Please take the time to read and review.

I wrote this chapter to Foo Fighter's Wheels, I LOVE that song...

Thanks, Nick

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, just an Australian citizenship, which means I'm from the same country as the beautiful Yvonne Strahovski :D.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to CutThroatUK for his continuing help with the story. He's done a great job giving me feedback and suggestions. Also a big thanks to the posters on the Chuck boards at because they're awesome and make the wait between seasons bearable.

Warning: There might be a bit of language in this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 3 - Sarah's Day

The sound of the damn alarm resonated through the apartment - CRACK - the noise had stopped. The camera pans to show a throwing knife protruding from the formerly functional alarm. The camera again pans, showing the origin of the blade - one pissed off, sleep deprived Sarah Walker.

After another ten minutes of contemplating calling in sick to get out of her shift at the stupid hot dog place, she was sick of the cover job, she was sick of the cold, lonely apartment, but most of all, she was sick of this assignment, well sort of. She hated the fact that for the sake of the god damn greater good she had to keep Chuck - a genuinely good person, something that she scarce came upon in this business - at arms length.

She wished she could let her emotional walls down, let him in, but she knew that if that was to happen, she would only end up putting his life at risk.

"No, to keep him safe, it has to be this way, we can't be together" she concedes

Then she thinks back to the previous night and remembers how broken she was when she thought she'd lost him forever; remembers how when she realised Chuck was still alive, all she wanted to was run over and embrace him, and never let him go. But she knew if she did that, she'd cross the line into being fully comprimised, which would only endanger Chuck, the very thing she would do anything to avoid.

"I fucking hate this assignment" she thinks to herself.

* * *

The morning at the weinerlicious was fairly quiet, which allowed her thoughts to drift to her assignment, to drift to Chuck. She zones out, picturing Chuck in her mind. She notices he's not the type she's normally attracted to, but he's far from being unattractive. She loves the innate shape his hair makes, how good it feels to run her hands through it, appreciating its softness. Then she pictures his eyes, those alluring chocolate eyes that are so damn difficult to say no to.

"God I love his eyes" she thinks.

"Get a hold of yourself Walker, you sound like a love sick puppy, if you want to keep Chuck safe, the best thing to do is to keep him at a distance, even though it'll hurt him, at least he'll be safe."

* * *

Lunch time passes without Chuck coming over for their normal lunch. Although some part of her is disappointed, she's mostly relieved that she still has a few more hours to decide how to approach tonight.

* * *

As the day progresses, with only a handful of customers to serve, it allows her to come up with a game plan for tonight's talk with Chuck. She now has her mind set on being firm with him, making it clear that nothing can happen between them, she has to be the handler, and him the asset, nothing more. When they're on missions when she tells him to stay in the car, then god damn he had better stay in the car.

Satisfied that she's come up with some kind of plan for tonight, she allows her mind to wander to more pleasant topics: she pictures the beach on a beautiful summer day. She's walking along the shore bare foot, feeling the sand between her toes, cherishing the fresh air. She smiles at the sight of children running along the beach enjoying the beautiful day. Then she looks to her side and sees the most beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes looking at her.

"Its such a beautiful day isn't it honey?" Chuck asks, with a dreamy look on his face. God he looks good.

Back to reality, alarm bells are going off in Sarah's head, DANGER DANGER DANGER

"Don't let your thoughts go there again Walker, or who knows what might happen"

Five O'Clock comes and Sarah's shift is over, she feels happy that work has come to an end, but at the same uneasy, knowing that the hardest part of the day is yet to come. In just a few hours, she's going to have to look into those beautiful, alluring eyes and blatantly lie to him about not feeling the same way he does.

* * *

A/N: Wow that was a tough chapter to write, Sarah's such a complex character at this point of time in the show. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Now comes the tough part to write, the talk between Chuck and Sarah. Sarah has fooled herself into a false sense of believing that she'll be able to convince Chuck to keep their relationship professional, is anyone with me in thinking that Chuck's going to break her walls down. Just a warning, don't expect some fairy tale end to the next chapter with Chuck and Sarah getting together and living happily ever after, they've still got a lot of stuff to work through to be together. My next story is most likely going to be called Chuck versus Fulcrum, but that is subject to change. Please leave a review as to how I went with this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4  The Talk

Chuck versus the Dreaded Conversation

**A/N: Thanks for the continuing support for this story. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, but I wanted to make sure it was just right, and it led in to the sequel which should be out quite soon. I know I go about OOC with Chuck in this chapter but I really wanted to portray how hurt he is, and it also runs nicely into my next story. Please enjoy the story and if possible leave a review telling me how you liked the story.**

**I wrote this chapter to a mix of music, name Foo Fighter's Wheels and Switchfoot's Dare you to Move. Also, "Keep Yourself Warm" by Frightened Rabbit, a great song introduced to me by Chuck.**

**Thanks, Nick**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, wish I owned NBC though, I'd be screening a lot more promos than those bastards are currently giving us.**

**Acknowledgements: HUGE thank you to LinShoe85 and LibertySS4 with this chapter. They're both amazing and really helped me with this chapter, without their help it wouldn't have turned out as good as this. I took many of your suggestions, the ones I didn't take were still much appreciated and valued though. I'm looking forward to talking to both of you when by ban at expires, but until then keep reading and reviewing, I'm also reading what you guys are up to on the boards.**

**Warning: There's some language in this chapter folks**

* * *

Chapter 4 - The Talk

Chuck knocked on the door to Sarah's apartment at seven precisely.

"On time as always" Sarah commented with a genuine smile on her face.

"Wouldn't have it any other way" Chuck quickly responded, reciprocating Sarah's smile.

"Come in"

"Thanks"

As Chuck entered Sarah's apartment, he noticed that she was definitely a lot calmer than when they had last talked, 'Has she forgiven me?' he thinks to himself, 'Or is she just being nice to soften the blow she's about to deliver?'

As Chuck and Sarah dig into the Sizzling Shrimp that Chuck had brought with him, the conversation between the two stays strictly general, purposefully avoiding any talk about spies or last nights mission. They hover around safe topics, discussing how each others days were and having a laugh over the mischief Jeff and Lester had gotten into that day.

Little does Chuck know that beneath the smile gracing Sarah's face, that she is in fact deep in thought,

_"How can I do this? How can I crush his heart like this? He's a nice guy, he doesn't deserve this shit." _Sarah thinks to herself.

They've now both finished their food and are sitting in silence, uncomfortable about what they both know is coming next. After a minute or two of awkward silence, Sarah finally musters up the strength to speak up,

"Chuck-"

"Sarah, please let me speak first, you can say whatever you need to say when I'm finished, but please just let me get this out"

Sarah remained silent, signalling to Chuck to continue speaking.

"Before I met you, my life was empty. I was in a dead end job, still moping around hating Bryce's guts for getting me kicked out of Stanford and for stealing my girlfirend. I hated my pathetic, worthless excuse for a life. But then one day, something happened that transformed my life - and I'm not talking about getting the Intersect, I'm talking about meeting you.

Never did I think a person as great as you would come into my life, and more importantly, never did I imagine falling for you. I was so broken after Jill cheated on me, that I thought I would spend the rest of my life alone, never able to love again. But there you were, so beautiful and confident, walking into my life and stealing my heart. You're everything I thought I ever wanted and so much more. You have a large heart, you're sweet, you're caring and you can kick just about anyones ass you want."

At this point Chuck's eyes had slowly misted over and he let out a small chuckle. Sarah's heart melts as she listens to Chuck speak.

"At first, maybe, I was just a job to you, but slowly I've began to realise that you too had feelings for me. That you reciprocated my love"

"Chuck-" Sarah attempted to interrupt at this point but Chuck silenced her by continuing to talk.

"Sarah, whatever you might say, I know deep down that you too have feelings for me, beyond just being protective of me as an asset.

That's all I had to say. Now, as promised, its your turn to say whatever you want."  
Sarah looked into Chuck's eyes, fought back the tears building up, put a stern, serious look on her face and began to speak,

_"How can do I hurt him like this? I can't do it!"_

_"Suck it up Walker, you have to do this! If you want Chuck to live, you have to do this"_ the agent in her firmly replied.

"Chuck, it was just a cover. Anything you percieved as real feelings between us, was simply me leading you on, to control you as an asset."

'I fucking hate this, but if in order to keep him safe, he has to hate me, then so be it, I'll lie to him, say what needs to be said, he deserves more than what I can offer. He deserves a chance at a real relationship with someone who can appreciate just how great he is' Sarah thinks to herself.

Chuck, hearing what Sarah is saying, can't believe it, refuses to believe it.

"It seemed so real, how can it all be a lie, this can't be true" He repeats in his head.

Sarah continues to speak,

"I thought that if I could string you on, I could control you on missions, keep you on line"

At this point Sarah's face softened and she speaks in a quieter, more gentle tone, but Chuck's anger only continued to build up inside of him.

"But then I realised that that was wrong, that it was totally unfair to you to lead you on like that. I hated myself for being so cruel to you, you deserved better than that. You're a nice guy. You deserve a handler who can keep you safe without hurting you like this."

At this point Chuck's anger boiled to the surface.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? All this time, you were pretending, doing your job! How can you be such a cruel bitch" He spat.

Sarah fights back the urge to break down and cry, but she resists the temptation and maintains a straight face. But she is ashamed of her actions, ashamed of herself, and is unable to bring herself to look Chuck in the eye while he continues to yell at her.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH. AFTER I'VE LET DOWN THE WALLS THAT HAVE BEEN UP SINCE JILL. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT. I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME, THAT I WAS MORE THAN JUST A JOB TO YOU. BUT YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN JILL!"

BANG! Befor Sarah could stop herself she had slapped Chuck - hard. He stumbled backwards from the impact. Sarah immediately realised her mistake and couldn't help it as she began to cry. She did not hit him, because she was hurt by what he was saying. Every word of it was true. She hit him because she was upset; broken; disgusted at herself. For the sake of the fucking greater good, she has destroyed the nicest man in the world. All he has ever done is cared about her, loved her. Even though she refused to let down her emotional walls with him, he didn't retreat and give up like every other man in her life, instead he always there for her, both physically and emotionally. Whenever she felt alone, he was always there, her rock. While she may protect him in the spy world, it's him who protects her in the real world.

"Chuck I'm so sorry"

"Stop" Was all Chuck could manage to get out.

Sarah's tears continued to flow. Chuck had now also began to cry, not because he was hurting physically, but because he was stinging emotionally. Even though Sarah had hurt him so badly with what she'd said earlier he still hated himself for making her upset like this.

"Please Chuck let me finish, I never wanted to hurt you, I only wanted to protect you. Even though it started off as a job, I started to care about you the person to the point where I care you too much about you to see you get hurt, if it means you hating me to keep you safe, I can live with that. I couldn't however live with myself if you died because I was unable to protect you"

As Sarah says that last statement her voice starts to break, and the tears flow down her cheek, touching her lips, leaving her with a salty taste in her mouth.

Chuck's heart breaks as he senses her intense vulnerability. He wants nothing more than to embrace her, and kiss her, but he is so very confused.

_"First she tells me she has no feelings for me, now she's crying, saying that she cares for me. This is too much! I don't know what to believe any more. Nothing is real"_ Chuck thinks to himself.

Sarah continues "But I realise now, that I can't do this any longer. I just can't keep hurting you look this Chuck. You're a good guy, you deserve better. So earlier on today, I called Graham, and requested reassignment effective immediately. He obliged and is sending a replacement agent tomorrow. I'm so sorry Chuck, I never ever wanted to hurt you"

At this point Sarah broke down in tears. Even though Chuck was still so mad at Sarah, it tore him apart seeing the woman he loved so broken, even if she had no real feelings for him. His body made the decision for him, as he closed the gap between them and embraced Sarah, hugging her, holding her close. She reacted by wrapping her arms around Chuck, holding him ever so tightly, never wanting to let go. She hated herself, she despsised the CIA, but she loved Chuck too much to stand around and be the cause of him being hurt, or worse. Another agent will protect him better, she assured herself.

However, if she was going to leave the man she loved tomorrow, she needed to be close to him tonight. With her face still buried in Chuck's shoulder, she mumbled,

"Please Chuck, please stay with me tonight, I- I just can't be alone tonight"

This comment greatly confused Chuck

_"Why is the woman, who two minutes ago said she has no feelings for me, now hugging me and begging me to stay"_ He thought to himself.

But for the moment, he pushed that thought to the back of his mind. As much as she'd hurt him, he still loved her. As much as he chastised himself, asked himself why she had so much power over him, he just couldn't stand the site of her vulnerable like this. He needed to console her,

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere"

Chuck led Sarah back over towards the bed. Once he had made sure she was tucked in and comfortable, he gently brushed his lips against her forehead. After a few moments he stood back up and went around the other side of the bed and got under the covers.

Initially Chuck lay so he was a decent distance away from Sarah, but she quickly slid towards him, and cuddled up in his gentle yet strong embrace. As she lies intwined with the man she loves, she takes a moment to take in every minute detail. She enhales his sweet scent, sighing contently. She looks into his eyes, and loses herself in those enticing pools of chocolate. Her gaze then moves to his hair, she had always liked his hair. She feels the urge to run her fingers through his soft, smooth, brown, untamed curls, but she sees that he has drifted off to sleep. She quietly cries herself to sleep, devestated at the fact that she would be leaving chuck tomorrow; her chuck.

As sleep slowly comes to her, she begins to dream.

She is standing on the beach. It's a beautiful day. The sun is setting along the horizon lighting the sky up a brilliant purple. She enhales the fresh air. She opens her eyes to take in the breathtaking sight. In front of her a man stands looking deep into her eyes. She stares deep into his beautiful brown eyes, looking into his soul, emmanating her unending love for the man. She closes the distance between them, stands on her toes, runs her hands through his unruly, yet smooth hair, finally locking her hands together behind his neck. She presses her lips against his in a gentle yet electric kiss. She breaks the tender embrace, moves her lips close to his ear and whispers softly,

"Please don't ever leave me"

Chuck places his hands on either side of her face, and turns her head so she is looking him in the eye.

"I'll stay for as long as you'll let me"

He leans in towards Sarah, brushing his lips against hers in a gently yet loving manner.

Sarah's eyes open, as she slowly succumbs to the realisation that it was just a dream. She quietly sobs into Chuck's chest, while embracing him even tighter, feeling safe in his arms.

"I love him, how can I leave him?" She thinks to herself.

She hates the fact that she had to lie to him tonight, that she had to look into his eyes and say she doesn't have feelings for him, when all she wanted to do was kiss him and tell him that she loved him. Tell him that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Her quiet sobs intensify but are muffled by Chuck's chest. He stirs but doesn't wake. Sarah takes a few deep breaths and is able to calm herself. She lies there, cherishing the embrace of the man she loves, and slowly drifts of to sleep, pushing the thought from her mind that she is leaving tomorrow. For now it is her turn to be vulnerable, and it's her turn to be the one being protected.

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

Well I hope you folks enjoyed the story. It was immensly hard to write so I would be extremely appreicative if you could all leave a review - tell me what worked, what didn't. It'll be a big help with writing the next story, which basically picks up right after the conclusion of this one...


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